Online Innuendo

If I remember correctly, it was during middle school, around 7th grade, that I started using AIM seriously to communicate with my friends. It was also around this time, or a little bit before that I started communicating with women that I "liked". Being a shy kid growing up, I found it a lot easier to flirt and display my budding affection by using the instant messenger medium. I could say certain things without having to make eye contact with the person, reducing my own discomfort and potential embarrassment. In her article, Ellen Ullman, uses email in order to foster a relationship. While I never had much success with this method, it definitely placed me in an environment that "...is more playful, more inclined to games of innuendo--all the stuff of romantic love." Also, it is mentioned that Ellen does not discuss the online interactions the next day when she sees her companion in person. Similarly to this, most of the topics that I discuss with someone online are never reintroduced in person.

Ellen, since these interactions occurred in the late 1990's, used email as the method of communication. On the contrary, I used instant messenger. Ellen emphasizes a few times the waiting time between messages. "What followed were months of email that rode back and forth between us with increasing speed. Once a day, twice a day, hourly. It got so I had to set a clock to force myself to work uninterruptedly for an hour then--ring!--my reward was the check my mail." This problem never occurs with instant messanging, since it is "instant". Occasionally the other user would leave the room, mentioning that they need to "brb". During this time period, one is able to send messages that the other person will see upon returning to the computer, I guess somewhat simulating the email environment, but the circumstances are still extremely different. Email as a form of casual communication is not nearly as prominent as it used to be, being replaced with other services such as instant messenging.