Ellen Ullman and I both had experiences where we conversed with an individual for a while and eventually met him, but these experiences were practically the same. In elementary school, everyone in my class wrote short letters to a “pen pal”, who was the same age in another school. We had to write on a topic that our teacher told us to write about, such as our interests or our family. My pen pal and I would receive each other’s letters and make comments at the beginning of our next letter. At the end of the year, we met our pen pals. When I met my pen pal, we had structured activities we had to do together. It seemed like our relationship was not real but forced both when we were writing letters and when we actually hung out each other. Similarly, when Ellen met her coworker, they continued to talk and interpolate just like they did via email.
Ellen Ullman and I differ in the seriousness of relationships we have via the internet. I converse with my friends online somewhat regularly, but I don’t communicate with a single person to the extent that Ellen conversed with her coworker. I do not habitually talk with someone when I should probably be getting some sleep. Ellen would stay up in the very late at night chatting with her coworker. Moreover, I’m not in an intimate relationship with anyone, and I’m not as eager as Ellen to want to talk with one of my friends. On the other hand, Ellen fell in love through email with her coworker, making her very passionate about communicating with her coworker.
I really enjoyed your personal example of a pen pal in comparison to Ullman's online relationship. Forcing a relationship is no way to fall in love. Though as an elementary school student, you probably weren't looking for love, but you still noticed that the friendship seemed "not real" when you two finally met. Additionally, though the structured activities may have helped to break the ice with your pen pal at first, it would have been an unnatural format for Ellen to date Karl in the article. Many humans are set on needing stucture in their lives, but relationships cannot be forced and must be taken as they come.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting story about your pen pal. It goes to show that experiences like the one that Ellen Ullman had are not exclusive to the internet. Despite the time lag with traditional mail, it was still possible for you to develop some kind of a relationship. I also found it very interesting that when you met with your pen pal in person that it was awkward, similar to Ellen Ullman's meeting.
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